Every Sacred Thing: Ananke and Moirae [Necessity and Fate], Part One

[aithne]

There was a pounding at the door.

Livia woke with a start, her heart racing. She jumped out of bed and ran to the door, yanking it open. Rusticus was standing on the other side, his face thunderously worried. "Lady, Lord Regent Constantine and Lord Mage Faydren are in the library. They request your presence now."

Her mouth hung open for a moment. "Good lord. Wake Darius. I'll need to dress."

Rusticus nodded curtly. "Darius is up lady, I woke him as well. Quickly, lady, they didn't seem to be wanting to wait. They have brought a contingent of men with them as well, they are stationed outside."

Livia nodded and stepped back into her room, shucking her sleep shift and pulling on yesterday's dress over her head. Modesty at this point wasn't important. "Is Diya awake?" she asked through layers of muffling fabric.

"I was on my way there next." Livia's head came free of the dress at the moment when Rusticus turned and left, to be replaced by Darius. She belted the dress and adjusted the folds, and Darius handed her a knife.

She hooked the sheath over the belt at the small of her back, draped her palla over her shoulder, and said, "I have no idea what might have brought them here, but shall we go see why they have the house surrounded?"

Darius shook his head. He, too, showed signs of having dressed hastily, but he was wearing his sword. "I don't think it's for us."

"Aranis?"

"Don't think so. I am betting on Geras."

She nodded. "Well, we'll see."

They arrived in the library a minute or so later. Faydren and Constantine were sitting, and at their entrance Faydren stood. "Lady, we have reason to believe that Constantius is not himself and has been replaced with a person named Geras. My intent this morning is to prove that point. This, though, could put your daughter in jeopardy. He will probably fight back and he will use anyone or anything at his disposal."

Faintly, Livia heard herself say, "Replaced? And when are you planning to do this?"

"Yes, and now."

She collected herself. "She has the locket Collita made for her. If the protections on the room are still active and they're triggered, she'll be safe. And if you're doing it now, I can't get to her before you confront him."

Faydren shook his head. "He suspects already, we believe. If we don't catch him now, he will escape."

"Then what? I and some of my men go with you, to protect her?"

The mage inclined his head. "No lady, we tell you only because you are Diya's benefactor, but you are welcome to come. We will protect the child if we can, but I can guarantee nothing."

Sharply, Livia said, "I can't let you put my daughter in danger without being there to try to protect her. I and a few of my men will come along."

"As you wish." Without further talk, Faydren stepped past her and walked out the door. Constantine rose, shrugged at Livia, and followed.

Livia chose three of her guards, more or less at random, and winced at the danger she was putting them in. Darius would come too, of course, but he had proven that he was tough enough to survive almost anything. With the armed guard around them, they walked towards Constantius's house. Wide-eyed, the guards on the front door let them pass.

Faydren swept through the outer courtyard. He gestured sharply, and the guards who had begun to close in on him fell, twitched, and were still. Constantine, Livia, Darius, and her guards followed Faydren in to the inner courtyard, where two men were standing. Constantius had evidently been talking to Linaeus, and at their entrance he looked up. "Interesting. Good morning, my lords and ladies."

There was a fierce smile on Faydren's face. He spoke a few words and gestured, and Constantius's form dissolved to show Geras underneath. The mage raised his hands, and suddenly the inner courtyard was filled with fire.

Linaeus stepped back as Geras and Faydren began to cast spells on each other. Livia looked over her shoulder to see that Constantine had retreated. She cast her gaze around and then threw herself to the side as a stray bolt of lightning came towards her. It crackled harmlessly by her shoulder.

Her guards weren't nearly as lucky. All three of them dropped, killed instantly by the lightning. Darius had been knocked down, but he rolled to his feet. Livia pointed at the walls. Blackened and groaning, they were beginning to crumble.

She gave Geras and Faydren one last look, noting that Geras was holding his own, and Faydren's eyes held nothing but a vast, intense rage. She started running towards the nearest doorway that would allow her climb the stairs to the nursery. She couldn't care about the outcome of this battle. Her daughter was what she was here for.

She was too late. The wall in front of her crumbled, and Darius picked her up and literally threw her out of the way of it. His courage cost him the split-second he would have needed to get away himself, and half of the wall fell on him, pinning him to the ground.

Livia looked up, and she could see that the whole section of the house that the nursery was in, the larger part of the women's wing, was beginning to cave in. I have to stop this. Now. She glanced down at Darius, then dropped her palla and pulled the knife that she'd been carrying at the small of her back. She quickly circled around until she was in back of Geras, then screamed as Geras sparked a spell into the wall directly behind Faydren.

The whole thing was coming down. Faydren spoke a sharp word and caught the rubble that was about to fall on him. Livia gasped as she saw Optata caught in the remains of the wall, struggling. Faydren made a gesture, he was about to toss it aside, he couldn't see Optata--

"No!" she screamed at him, forgetting that she was trying to sneak up on Geras. "Optata's in there!"

Faydren suddenly appeared to see her. His eyes softened slightly. "I can't hold this and fight," he said.

She shook her head. "Hold on--" Geras pressed his advantage, flinging spell after spell at Geras, as she ran at the man's back, mentally rehearsing where she would need to hit him to slide her knife between his ribs.

Geras turned on his heel, his hands still raised. "Oh, no, Livia. Not today." He smiled. "Put it down or I will send the next bolt through your child."

Livia's eyes narrowed. "Then she dies no matter what I do."

"Only Faydren has to die here." There was something strange in Geras's yellow eyes. Something beside the rage and the triumph. "We can leave. Sextus was my target and he is dead. There is no reason anymore to kill you."

"You can save her?" she asked.

"Easily."

A long moment passed then, as Livia weighed her choices. Even if I win here, it will mean nothing if Optata dies in the process. She was in a strange space, beyond fear, beyond regret. She bowed her head, and her knife clattered to the stone.

Geras turned his back on her then, and let fly with several more bolts of energy at Faydren. Next to her, she heard a metallic clatter and jumped. It was Darius's sword. She looked up, and saw him awake under the collapsed wall, his legs pinned but his arms free. He was gesturing at her, telling her, Use it!

With pleasure. You don't learn, Geras. You never turn your back on me. She picked up the sword and ran at Geras, holding the heavy blade level. Nothing in the world mattered but what was about to happen. Time seemed to slow down as her world narrowed to a point no bigger than the tip of the blade.

The sword entered Geras's back, and as she threw her entire weight against it, it sliced through flesh and organs until it was hilt-deep in him, half of the blade coming out of his front. Her body impacted against his, and he staggered forward a few steps. She stumbled, then braced herself against the ground, springing back away from him, releasing the hilt of the sword. Geras gave a strangled cry and spun, stepping towards her. She scrambled for her knife.

There was nothing left in Geras's demon eyes anymore but rage. He coughed, "Faydren is not all he seems. I will see you in hell."

Then he crumpled to the ground. Livia murmured, "See you there, bastard."

There was a moment of profound silence in the courtyard. Then Faydren set the piece of wall that he had been holding up on the ground and fell as well. Livia felt time begin again, and it was as if she were distant from all of the events that had just happened, still in that place beyond fear that she had found herself in. "He is dead," she muttered to herself. "Dead."

Linaeus came up to her. "You all right?" he asked.

She nodded distractedly. "I think so. I'm not sure Darius is. I'm going to go find Optata."

"I will look in on him. Faydren?"

Livia looked around. Linaeus and she were the only two people left standing. She could see Faydren breathing slowly. "Take a look at him. Don't do anything for him just yet."

He hurried towards the fallen mage, kneeling and laying his hands on his chest. "He's dying. I think."

Livia blinked. "You think?"

"He should be dead by now, he has more holes in him than any one person should be able to survive, but his heart is still beating somehow." He looked back down at Faydren, his face astonished. "Dear Athena, that's not possible."

She spent a long moment thinking about it. The temptation to let him just die was terrible, but fighting with that was an intuitive feeling, something Aphe had said. He chose to save Optata instead of himself. She heard herself saying, "Do what you can for him, then. I don't know what's keeping him alive, but I'm not sure I want to mess with it."

Linaeus began immediately chanting, and behind him Livia heard the sound of someone climbing over the rubble. Constantine came into view, and Livia climbed towards where she had last seen Optata. The air was chokingly thick with stone dust and smoke, and she coughed.

Her daughter was curled up in a shallow depression in the stone, being held suspended over the surface by a softly glowing bubble of energy that was surrounding her. As Livia reached through it to grasp Optata, it popped and dissolved, and she was set gently down.

Optata opened her eyes, saw Livia, and let out a wail. Livia picked her up as she cried hysterically, murmuring to her. "You're safe now, Optata. Mama's here. You're safe." She checked her over, and was amazed to find that her daughter was entirely unharmed. Not a cut or a scratch was on her.

Livia climbed back over the rubble carefully, and by the time she had reached solid ground again Optata's sobs had quieted to hiccups. She got very quiet as Livia carried her towards Darius. "Mama, that man has a sword in him," she said, freeing one hand to point at Geras's body.

"Don't look at him, sweetling. Let's go get Darius out from under the rocks, all right?"

Optata nodded. "What's Linaeus doing?" she wanted to know. Livia blinked--she hadn't known that Optata knew who Linaeus was, but it made sense that she did.

"Healing the other man. He was hurt." Livia kissed Optata and set her down, picking her palla up from where she'd dropped it and wrapping it around her daughter. "No more questions, sweetling. Save them all up for me for later. This is grownup business right now, all right?"

Grownup business had always been code for I'll answer your questions later, but not right now, and Optata nodded. She "helped" Livia pull chunks of rock off of Darius, who was pinned by the wall and badly bruised, but awake. After a few minutes he was able to wriggle free.

"Thanks," he said as he came free and got to his feet. "I think I sprained something, but I'll be all right." He went to retrieve his sword, limping as he went.

Livia glanced over her shoulder. Constantine was standing, his arms folded, watching. "What happened? Why did Faydren decide to take him out?" she asked him.

"Julia reported last night that Collita had been poisoned. Faydren's spy in the house found this." He held up a familiar vial of white powder, the one that she had planted. "It stops the heart. Faydren consulted with me and we had Aphe spy on Constantius with my approval, we saw him change into Geras. He went after him."

"And almost died for his trouble." Livia glanced over at Linaeus, who seemed to have finished with his chanting, and was now simply watching Faydren's face intently.

Constantine said, "Almost, had not the cleric of Athena here saved him."

She gave him a sharp look. "Is there going to be a problem with that?"

"There is. Guards, take him away. We will execute him in the morning."

No! She took a step towards the regent--now the emperor, she supposed. "Even Lukas was given a chance at exile!"

He shook his head. "Laws are laws, Livia. We have to uphold them."

She was still favoring him with a sharp look. "And what if it's a bad law? Do we have to uphold it then?"

Quietly, Constantine asked, "Are you siding with a heretic, Livia?"

Faydren had gotten to his feet, Livia saw out of the corner of her eye. He approached her, turned and then stood beside her. Livia took a deep breath. "I am only saying that your father made his point. He broke the pagan temples and their power. One lone priest, who if you gave him the chance would be out of the city and never trouble you again--what does he matter? So many died in the purges."

"Yes, they did, and many more will."

Livia clenched her jaw and opened her mouth to make another objection, when Faydren laid his hand on her shoulder. She flinched. "Let it go, Livia." he murmured. "There are always possibilities."

She folded her arms and closed her mouth. Her heart ached as she saw a pair of Constantine's men seize Linaeus and hustle him away. The priest's gaze was on the ground, and he did not look up at Livia before he was out of sight. Constantine followed.

Tears were pricking Livia's eyes. This is what I wanted. I wanted Geras dead, and now I have my wish. It didn't feel very good. She had thought it would feel like triumph, like freedom. It did, but there was something else mixed in, some vast grief that she could not look closely at right now. I have Optata. That is all that matters. Aloud, she said, "That's it, then. he'll be killed tomorrow morning for nothing more than attempting to be a good person." She stepped away from Faydren and looked at Darius. "Can you walk, do you think?" He nodded in reply.

Behind her, Faydren said, "Meet me at my house about an hour before midnight. We can get him out."

Livia nodded. She reached down to take Optata's hand, numbly. "All right," she said in a voice she barely recognized. She offered her shoulder to Darius, who leaned lightly on her, then the three of them began to walk away.

Faydren's voice rang out. "Nice sword play today, Livia."

She stopped, looking back over her shoulder. She shrugged. "I got lucky."

She could not read the expression in his eyes. "Yes, I see."

Livia gave him a small smile. "And you would not believe how pissed I was at him." She paused, and looked at him. "Or maybe you would."

The mage inclined his head. "I would. Tonight, Livia."

"Tonight, Faydren." Then she, her daughter, and Darius climbed over the fallen rock and out of the house.

On the street outside of the regent's house, Optata tugged on her mother's hand. "Mama? Did you see me? I flew, Mama. I flew." There was a radiant joy on her daughter's face.

*****

When they arrived back, she sent a detachment of men to gather the bodies of her men and look for Hedea, and to see if Julian and Gallus survived. She didn't know if Constantine even remembered the boys existed. Then she sat for a time and just held Optata, rocking her back and forth, shedding silent tears into her hair. For once, her daughter did not squirm or protest at being held still.

Diya appeared in the open door of Livia's chamber. "What happened?" she asked. "Is that--"

Livia nodded. "This is your sister Optata." The child had fallen asleep, her tear-streaked face peaceful. "Geras is dead."

"Darius told me. He said it was his sword but your hand."

"Sextus's death is avenged, and Geras will never hurt anyone again." She sighed.

"You know, you don't look too happy about it."

Livia grimaced. "Linaeus was taken by Constantine. They're going to burn him tomorrow. I'm very happy that Optata is home, but the price was very high."

"Oh." Diya came over to look at Optata. "She looks like you."

"She has her father's eyes, and his mouth." The eyes that had never looked at her with anything approaching hatred, the lips that had always said such sweet things to her. "So do you." Livia swallowed her tears, and smiled shakily.

Orla appeared behind Diya and brushed past her. She took a look at Livia, and her mouth hardened as she saw the way Livia was holding herself, as if she had been gravely wounded by a fight that had left only scratches on her. She pried Optata out of Livia's arms, and said, "I'll bathe her. One of the maids will come with wash water for you. Diya, come with me, please. Now." Optata murmured as Orla carried her away, Diya following. The girl stopped in the doorway, gave Livia a long look, and then closed the door behind her.

Livia clenched her fists in her palla and slid out of the chair down to the floor, pressing her forehead against the stone. She suddenly missed Sextus terribly. Despite everything that she had gained, she was feeling very, very alone. She didn't know why she was feeling this now, at the moment of her triumph, when she'd done the thing that she'd spent the last month trying to accomplish.

Only now that the man who had killed him was dead, she felt as though she were losing her husband anew, as if by her relentless pursuit of Geras she had been keeping something of Sextus alive. It made no sense, and yet she felt the wracking cries rise in her, opening wounds in her soul she had thought had partially healed. She pressed her fists against her mouth as she fought the scream of grief that was trying to make its way out of her chest into the open air. Hot tears ran from her eyes, burning her cheeks.

She did not hear the door between her room and Darius's open, but she did hear his step on the stone floor. "Livia? Are you all right?"

Livia shook her head mutely, raising her dust- and tear-streaked face, her shoulders shaking. He came over to her then, kneeling beside her, pulling her into an embrace. "He's gone," she sobbed brokenly. "Sextus--he's gone--"

"It's all right, Livia. We knew this was going to catch up with you sometime." He stroked her disheveled hair and she turned her face into his shoulder and cried even harder. Each sob felt as though it were tearing something inside of her apart. These were tears she had not cried when her beloved husband had died, tears that had been swallowed by the chaos the aftermath of his death had made of her life. Almost without her noticing, Darius pulled her to her feet, guided her over to the low couch under the window in her room, and sat her down.

Finally, her painful sobs subsided. "I'm sorry," she said, wiping her running nose, breathing as hard as if she'd just been running. "It just hit me, all at once. I don't know quite why right then."

"It's no trouble," he said. "I thought something like that was happening. You were trying to get yourself killed, after Geras died."

"I know. That was stupid of me." She sighed shakily. "Well, now I know what Aphe meant about trusting Faydren."

"I see what you mean." There was a knock at the door, and a servant brought in a large bowl of warm water and clean cloths. Livia rose and went to wash the stone dust, blood, and tears from her skin. Darius had washed and changed as well, she noticed. He watched her begin to wash and said, "Nothing like dealing with the devil. Why did he stop for Optata? He could have tossed her away and killed Geras. What does it matter to him?"

She dried her face and arms, and turned to the wardrobe to find a clean dress to wear. "I don't know. I yelled at him, and it seemed like maybe his rage cleared away a little bit. Maybe he's got a soft spot for children."

His eyebrows went up. "A redeeming quality?"

"Possibly. He wasn't always like this." She stripped off her dress and pulled on the new one, belting it and looking at herself critically in the mirror.

The corner of Darius's mouth twitched. "I have seen death, Livia. I have seen other gladiators kill each other to save their own skins. Why do you stop for a child? He almost died, and he was using the last of his magic to hold her safe. He was expecting to die."

"I'm not sure. What if it wasn't Optata he was really doing it for, but for me? For whatever reason." She sat down and started to pull a comb through her tangled curls. "Why that would be, I have no idea."

"And he is going to break out Linaeus?"

"Exactly," she replied, and winced as her comb snagged. "What the hell."

He shook his head. "I don't trust this, but it makes me question. Are we wrong in some way?"

She turned to look at him. His eyes were shadowed with worry and doubt, and she knew that doubt was reflected in her own eyes. "Maybe. What if the bigger danger to us all is Constantine?"

He nodded. "I begin to think so."

They were interrupted by the door flinging open, Optata hurtling in like a small comet. "Mama!" she crowed. "I found you, Mama!" She skidded to a stop, seeing that Darius was in the room, her eyes going round. "Will you give me a shoulder ride?" she asked him seriously.

Darius glanced over at her, amusement in his eyes, and Livia smiled. "I need to see if Rusticus has arrived yet," she said.

"He came back," said Optata. "Miss Orla told me to come see you. The other girl said to tell you that Gallus and Julian were taken to the emperor's house. Who's the emperor, Mama?"

Livia took a deep breath. "Optata, do you remember meeting Lord Regent Constantine?" The girl nodded vigorously. "He's the emperor now."

There was a frown on the child's face. "Mama? What happened to Uncle Constantius? Did a wall fall on him too?"

She held out her arms, and Optata came into them. "Sort of, Optata. He died. That's why you're here with us now."

"Am I going to stay here?" she asked. Her voice was clear, and unlike when she'd been told Fausta had died, there were no tears in it.

"Yes. I'm never, ever going to let you go again, Optata. This house belongs to your sister Diya, and we still have our house. We will spend part of our time here, and part there. There are nice gardens here. You'll like them. And if you're very, very good, I have a surprise for you in a few days."

Optata smiled. "Will I like it?"

"Very much, I think." Livia kissed her daughter. "Come with me, now. Let's see if any of the servants have some spare time to play with you while I take care of a few things."

Surprisingly, it was Diya who volunteered to take Optata. "We'll be in the workroom. I promise not to make anything explode while she's in there," she said defensively as Darius eyed her.

Optata's mouth fell open. "You make things explode? Will you show me?" Livia giggled at the dumbfounded expression on Diya's face. She was about to learn that Livia's younger daughter was a force unto herself, Livia reckoned.

She and Darius went downstairs. In the hall lay three shrouded bodies, Rusticus standing by them. He bowed as she approached. "Lady. We have recovered the bodies."

"I'll take care of funeral arrangements, and contacting their families. Did you find Hedea?"

Rusticus nodded, his dark green eyes serious. "She had a piece of wall fall on her head. We brought her back, and she's in the servants' quarters. Orla took the liberty of calling the doctors for her. They haven't said much yet, but I've seen these kind of injuries before. They are difficult to recover from."

Livia took a breath. "Well, we'll see what the doctors say when they're done. I'm going to go send some messages."

Rusticus bowed again. "Lady."

She turned and left, towards the study, trying to think of what messages she could possibly send to explain to the families of the dead men that would explain why they died.

In the end, she simply wrote that they had died in service, bravely defending their mistress. It was really all she could say.