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aithneA long Constantinople story, covering a couple of days' worth of time. Again, it was too long for LJ, so there will be a second post.
False dawn came, the thin grey light leaking through the walls of the tent. Livia woke to the sound of Darius moving around the tent, and she rolled over, rubbing her eyes.
"We should be off soon, lady," he said. He was fastening his sword around his body, looking down at her. "We should be at the walls by the time the sun clears the horizon."
Livia nodded, pulling off the blanket. The robes she wore were rumpled with sleep, and she brushed at them as she stood, then fastened the veil over her head and across her face. Outside the tent, she breathed deeply on the cold morning air. There was a small gathering of the Sassenids from the camp, with bundles and a pair of carts filled, Livia presumed, with goods to sell or barter in the city. Lukas, too, was awake, and came over to them.
"Livia, Darius. You are going back to Constantinople?"
"We will be back at the walls by sunrise. May we walk with those from your camp?" asked Livia.
He gave them a grave nod. "We move often. You know where to find my messenger now; send a message if you need to see me again."
Livia bowed. "I will. Thank you for everything, Lukas." The words were cold and stilted coming out of her mouth, and she clenched her fists. She held out her hand, turned upward, her fingers closed over the coins within. "For your cause."
He took the coins from her, as coldly formal as she. Livia shivered, thinking that this man would probably never forgive her for refusing to risk their necks to get him into the city. She bowed again, this time more shallowly, and turned to go, Darius following her.
As they rejoined the masses walking towards the gates of Constantinople, Livia walked very closely indeed to Darius. "Tell me, Darius," she said, glancing up at him. "After Merouk dies...will you consider letting Diya at least pose as your apprentice? I need a reason for Diya to be in my residence that doesn't involve her being a slave."
His eyebrows shot up. "Certainly. But do you actually want me to teach her something?"
She shrugged. "That, I think, is up to you and her. It seems like she might well appreciate the education, if you're willing to teach her."
"I can teach her the small things to start with, but it's a long process. I just wanted to know how much damage you wanted to create in your home." Darius wore a small smile on his lips. "Wizardlings tend to break things."
Livia spread her hands. "As long as she doesn't actually bring the place down around our ears or set it on fire, it's all right. There's a back room on the first floor that's not really used for much at the moment."
"The farther away the better." He looked down at her, saw that she held her arms crossed, her shoulders slightly rounded. "You don't expect this to go well, do you?"
She shook her head. "Not in the least. But it must be done, and sooner rather than later. I cannot avoid it."
"No, lady, I am afraid not."
"She may surprise me. But if it were me, I would not take what I'm going to tell her well at all." She took a long breath as they passed through the southern gate of Constantinople, coming back into the city she loved so well. "I think I may inquire as to if Merouk ever described her rapist or rapists. if the descriptions match, I think I'll tell her that Geras may have been the culprit. It's a gamble, because she may try to go after him herself. But we'll see."
Darius shrugged. "She is very young. She might try something illogical." His tone was a gentle warning, and she caught his drift immediately.
"I know. She seems to have enough of a cool head on her shoulders, but...I remember being that age. Ah, well. I'll see how it goes with her, and what she's seen."
"You will soon see, as that is their house." He indicated with his chin the familiar door of Merouk's house, and the sense of dread in the pit of Livia's stomach intensified.
"Best to get this over with," she said, her voice miraculously steady.
"After you, lady." Darius gave her a wry smile, and motioned her ahead.
Feeling an odd sense of the repetition of time, she called into the house. Diya pulled back the curtains, her eyes opening wide when she saw who it was. The girl's hair wasn't covered with a veil, and her hair and clothing were both rumpled. Her eyes were reddened, and her mouth was set in the expression of someone years older. "Yes, come in," she said.
Livia entered, Darius close behind her. Livia tried to draw comfort from the big man's silent presence, solid as rock behind her. "How is your mother?" she asked quietly. I pray that we are in time--
Diya's mouth twisted, and she looked over her shoulder, at one of the doorways that led from the room. "Worse. She doesn't know me or her own name today. And she started coughing in the middle of the night."
Livia's heart twisted. They were too late. "Ah, no...she isn't coughing up blood, is she?"
The girl nodded. "Just a little last night, but more this morning."
Livia was certain she was pale as marble. "Come sit down, Diya. I have something I need to talk to you about."
Diya's eyes were wide, but she did as Livia asked. She looked very lost, huddled in on herself. "She's going to die, isn't she?" she asked.
She nodded, and looking at the girl, her eyes stung briefly. She swallowed, willing her voice to be steady. "I'm afraid she is. I spoke to the person who's been supplying her medicine. He sent me with some more of it, but he also said that once she started coughing blood, there was no medicine that would be able to help." Livia paused, schooling her entire being to silence. "He gave me another preparation. To send someone into a sleep from which they'll never awaken."
Diya shuddered as if she'd been hit, her hands gripping her upper arms tightly. "Is he sure? There is nothing he can do?"
Livia shook her head slowly. "Nothing. He said that once she began to cough, there was nothing his medicines could do. I'm sorry, Diya. I had hoped to come with better news."
"There has to be something, anything. Can we get him here to see her?" The girl's voice was soft and pleading. Livia thought her heart could not break more than it already had, but she'd been mistaken.
"He--cannot come into the city." She heard the hitch in her voice and cursed it. "Your mother can't be moved. Even if he could come to her, there's not much he could do at this point other than make her more comfortable." The lie came to her lips easily now, too easily. "You can try the medicines. Perhaps he was mistaken and they'll still help."
Diya leaned forward. "We can try, but if you don't think it will help..."
"He seemed very doubtful." She let her sorrow creep into her voice. May the gods forgive me for what I am about to do. "But it is your decision. You are her caretaker, she is your mother."
"This may seem selfish, but if she dies what do I do?" She looked for a moment younger for her years, a child frightened of being left alone. "She is suffering, but while she lives I have a place to stay. When she dies, they won't let me live here anymore."
"I was going to ask if you had any plans for that."
She shook her head. "I did until Esayis disappeared." She was gripping her upper arms tightly again, as if she had been reminded of everything she had lost, and was about to lose. Father, love, and now her mother were to be taken from her.
Livia closed her eyes for a moment and knew that she had abandoned any thought of using Esayis, when they found him, as leverage with Constans. It was the only decision that would allow her any measure of peace, she thought. Get Esayis, get the two of them out of Constantinople and safely elsewhere. Gods grant her that much, and grant her the fortune to not end up where her mother did. Softly, she suggested, "If you need a place, you could come stay with me. If you liked, you could apprentice to Darius and continue your education until we find Esayis. It might seem a little strange, but I think it's what Sextus would have wanted."
Diya started, and Livia thought that she had not even thought of it as a possibility. She licked her lips, looking intimidated. "That would indeed be strange. What do you I call you? I can't call you mother, that would be stranger still."
"You'd probably call me lady, as Darius does, or by my name. Officially, you and I have no relationship, though I'm sure there are those who will guess whose daughter you are." She watched as Diya did some swift thinking, weighing Livia's offer against what other options she had.
Finally, she shrugged. "I don't see a better choice, lady. But I can't kill my mother."
Livia hurt, her chest held a leaden ache in it. "I know this is hard, Diya. But do you want it done? You could simply wait, and let her die on her own. If you'd rather not...it does not have to be your hand that gives her the draught."
There was a terrible fear and hope in Diya's eyes. "Can you do it?"
"I will. If you want me to." It is my actions that are causing this death. Let it be my hand and no other, and curse the man who actually killed her.
The girl's voice was almost inaudible, and her eyes were closed. "Please. I see no other choice."
Livia glanced over at Darius, trying to avoid giving into the tears that were threatening. He was as silent as stone, but his eyes held some measure of compassion. She turned her eyes away from him, covered her face with her hand, and took a deep breath. When she was sure she had her voice under control, she said, "I will, then. Do you want some time alone with her? And do you want to be there when--I give her the draught?"
"Yes, I need to say goodbye, and no I can't watch." She rose swiftly, as if afraid if she stayed still any longer she would never move.
"All right. Take as much time as you need. Let me know when you're ready."
Diya went into the room that held her mother. She was there only a few moments when she emerged. Without looking at either Livia or Darius, she stumbled through another doorway, and there were rustles and bangs as she began to pack her belongings. Livia bit her lip, and rose. Leaving Darius behind, she went into the room that Diya had gone into. She'd heard the racking coughs, but hadn't truly expected the scene she saw. The scent of death hung on the air, and beside Merouk's bed was a bucket mostly full of rags dark red with drying blood.
Livia took a breath, summoning up all of her courage. She could almost hear her mother's voice in her head, telling her that grace in dire situations was the mark of true nobility of spirit, no matter what bloodline one was from. She knelt beside the bed, and tentatively reached out.
Merouk had finished a coughing fit and was breathing raggedly, her eyes half-open but unseeing. Livia laid her hand on her forehead, seeing the lines that illness and care had written there. Merouk was little older than Sextus, but she looked twice his age. She smoothed back the wispy hair from her forehead, and murmured, "It's all right, Merouk. I have something that will take away the pain and let you sleep."
The woman blinked and turned her eyes towards Livia. The thick white film over her eyes must make her completely blind now, Livia realized. She uncorked the vial that Lukas had given her, and then swiftly tipped the prescribed dose into Merouk's mouth.
Forgive me, Sextus. Forgive me.
Merouk swallowed. A few moments passed, and then her eyes fluttered shut. Her breathing became more even and regular, and then quickly slowed. In a minute or two, she stopped breathing entirely after one long exhale.
Livia bowed her head and let the tears fall. She didn't even try to pull herself out of it, to tell herself that she couldn't fall apart. This seemed like a perfect moment to fall apart, if only for a few minutes. She leaned against the edge of the bed, her face buried in the crook of her arm.
When she could speak again, she said quietly, "May the gods have mercy on you in the afterlife, Merouk. Because for certain they had none here."
"None whatsoever."
Livia managed to not quite jump. Darius had come into the room sometime in the last few minutes, evidently. She got to her feet, and turned to face him, wiping her eyes. "One mistake, and this is where she ends her life. It's really not fair. The gods' mercy seems to have been lacking lately, in many corners. I suppose they have better things to do, these days. And poor Diya." She leaned over the bed, pulling the blanket up over Merouk. "Darius, do you know what arrangements the Sassenids make for their dead?"
He shook his head. "I can find out. Mostly they burn them I believe. I will attend to the funeral. You should take Diya home. I will stay here today and tonight. Once word of her death gets out, looters will come."
She took a deep breath and nodded. "All right. I'm going to go see Julia tonight, I think. Now that I know more, she can fill in a few details for me. Do you have anything you want me to pass along for you?"
"I think that you will cover most of the updates that I would have."
"All I need is Diya and her things, then." She stepped past him, out into the main room of the house. She could still hear Diya banging around in her room.
"If you can, find out if Diya knows where some of Geras's people are."
They sat on the chairs, waiting for Diya. Livia said, "I will. I'll also find out what the current state of that warehouse is and secure it."
"Yes. I am sorry that this is quickly becoming more and more unpleasant. If you need to quit, I understand." He was keeping his voice low, watching her.
"No." The refusal was out of her mouth before she even had time to think about it. "Not until I know what I need to know. I will do what I need to."
He had an unexpectedly grave look on his face. "There is no coming back, if we do as we plan with Geras's mercenaries."
"I know. I'm staring to get the impression that this might get very deadly in a hurry. "
"It very well might. I just hope not for us." His smile was tight and closed.
Livia looked up at him. "And you, Darius. If you want to stop, tell me. You just met me a few days ago. If you want, I can send you back to the Tower. If you stay, I will protect you as I can. I repay loyalty in kind. But this might not be what you want to be doing."
His smile turned a bit more open. "No, I love a good mystery."
"Even if it might kill you?"
Darius shrugged. "If I didn't die in the ring after all those years, I will die when I am meant to and not before."
Her eyes widened. "In the ring?"
"Ten years as a gladiator. Julia didn't tell you?"
It made sense, of course. He had the gladiator's physique. "No. She mentioned that you still sometimes thought as a fighter first, but....I suppose I assumed you were a soldier. How does a gladiator come to become a mage?"
His gaze was a little too penetrating for her comfort. "A gladiator good enough to win his freedom in an event can live whatever life he chooses. I chose to be a mage. Age weakens the limbs. I wanted to defend myself."
Livia wondered if she'd ever seen him in the ring. Everyone went to see the gladiators, of course, but one looked at bodies, not faces. One watched blood fly and not the madness and pain in their eyes. She'd done her share of sighing over her favorites when she was younger, as every young woman and many older ones did. She shifted as she thought of the uncomfortable prospect that he had been one of those she had daydreamed about. She licked suddenly dry lips and asked, "Where are you from, originally? Were you born here?"
"I was. My parents were like Lukas. But we got caught, without the miraculous escape." His voice was steady as a rock, without a trace of waver.
Comprehension broke over her. The easy way he referred to the gods, the feeling she'd had since she met him that there were parts of herself that she could show to him without fear of reprisal. He was a pagan, or at least had been raised as one. "How old were you?" she asked.
"Seventeen." Livia thought quickly. That would make him three years older than her at the least, and probably five or six.
She shook her head. "I must seem very naive to you. Pampered child of the nobility."
He shrugged again. "You did what you had to, to survive and so did I. Whether that meant knowing what fork went with what meal course or what weapon to take out to fight a lion, it's what we did to survive."
Livia closed her eyes. She remembered endless lessons, seemingly unrelated to anything practical, etiquette and ways of hiding her true feelings, the trappings of politics, how to entertain a room full of men and keep them interested in what she was saying. Equipped to survive in a world where the damage words could do was far worse than any blade, she had been given what she needed to survive. But it seemed so flimsy against actually knowing how to do something practical, something real.
Quietly, she responded, "Or learning to hide our true religion under a veneer of what the emperor considered acceptable."
She saw him register the information, mere confirmation of what he already knew, she presumed, and then he nodded. "Yes, that too. So it's just a matter of perspective. We now must expand that to include a few more things."
"Some things I'm not looking forward to, but I'll get through it. Find out who killed Sextus, and go from there."
"Geras, I am sure at this point, until I have other information," Darius said.
"And then to find out why." There was an odd excitement that was gripping Livia. It had been a long day and it was not yet noon, that was all. It just feels good to have an ally I can trust again, she thought. I work better with people than away from them. "This is probably going to take us eventually directly against him, or whoever controls him."
"This will probably take us farther than that, I fear. Hagia Sophia, probably one of the regents."
Livia thought. "We're going to need a lot of help, especially if it's Hagia Sophia."
"Yes, we are. But I don't know who, besides Lukas now."
"Julia, perhaps, depending on what we need. Depending on what the situation is politically, I may have some allies with some political reach. There are others, I'm sure. I just have to find them," Livia said slowly.
He nodded. "I hope so, we will need them."
"First, though, the bodyguard. Then go from there. I wonder if Diya--" She glanced over her shoulder. Diya was standing in the doorway, her head tilted, her hair covered with a veil. Livia wondered just how long she had been standing there. "Well. Are you ready to go?" Diya nodded silently. Her eyes were red, but she seemed calm enough. Whether it was shock or true calm, Livia could not guess. "Diya, Darius will be staying behind to make funeral arrangements. If you'd come with me..."
Diya nodded. Livia shouldered one of her bags, a comfortable weight at her hip. Livia nodded to Darius and walked out, Diya following in her wake.
It was a long walk to the noble section of town. As they got into better sections of town, Livia felt a bit conspicuous in the Sassenid clothing she was wearing. To distract herself, she asked Diya, "So. How much of my conversation with Darius did you hear?"
The girl adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "Just a bit about needing allies."
Livia thought back to the conversation. Nothing too incriminating by itself, then. "Ah. Well, you do know that I'm trying to find out who killed your father and my husband. What we've found points to something much larger than I ever suspected him being involved in. I'm currently strongly suspecting that Esayis is alive still, though."
Diya's voice was low and angry. "I can only hope they don't have the guts to kill a regent's son."
"It depends on what game they're playing, really."
Diya glanced at her, and Livia was shaken by the sudden, hungry hope in her eyes. "Do you know?"
"I have clues, suspicions, nothing concrete. I think the Tower may be making a bid to control the empire, but I don't think that's the only game being played here. I do know that whoever took Esayis probably kidnapped Constantine's son, as well." She sighed, reminded suddenly of what a dirty business this was becoming. "And the person in the center, who seems to be doing all of the dirty work, is Geras. Speaking of...did you find anything out about him, at all?"
They were getting closer to home, the buildings sprouting details like marble balconies and arched doorways. Diya was looking around her a bit furtively. Livia noted to herself that they were going to have to train her out of that first thing. It would come to her easily enough, she hoped, once she was convinced that she belonged in her new place. Diya said, "I found that two of his mercenaries have been hitting a Sassenid whore house, nearly daily. They spend a great deal of money and stagger out of the building around midnight every night."
It was some of the best news that the girl could have given her. "That is very helpful, actually. It's always convenient when one's enemies have such terrible habits."
"So what are you going to do?"
Livia paused to resettle the bag on her shoulder. "Do you really want to know? I don't want to involve you in this any more than I absolutely have to. "
Diya bit her lip. "They killed my father and thereby inadvertently killed my mother. They have my fiance. I am involved."
"So the answer is yes, then. We plan to...disappear one of the bodyguards, and persuade him to tell us what we want to know."
There was a cruel light in Diya's eyes. "Good. I hope it hurts."
"I believe it will." She could not share in Diya's fierceness at the prospect, but it wasn't the girl who was going to have to do the questioning.
They walked on in silence. Diya, surprisingly, was the one who broke it. "What is Darius's role in all this? I don't get him."
Startled by the question, Livia thought about it for a few moments. "Someone at Hagia Sophia that Sextus knew pulled some strings to have him assigned to me when Constantius requested that they send a bodyguard to me. He has proven an immense help, in many ways, and I believe we have similar goals."
The girl frowned. "And if the Tower is involved, you don't think he is a spy?"
Livia shrugged. "Sextus trusted the person who sent him to me, at least to a degree. She trusts Darius. He might be a spy, but so might just about anyone else. He hasn't killed me in my sleep yet, and I consider that an encouraging sign. I have to trust someone in this mess."
"I grew up pretty much alone. I don't have a lot of faith in humanity."
No, Livia didn't imagine that she did. "I was raised to be a politician. I don't, either. But I...I don't know. It's just a feeling, but I think Darius is trustworthy. If he's not, then the damage has already been done."
"Yes, he probably knows too much."
Livia nodded. If Darius wanted to either kill her or bring her down publicly, he had plenty of evidence and opportunity. She was just going to have to trust that her instincts about him were true. She asked, quietly, "Tell me, what were you planning to do with your mother, had you fled the city when Esayis wanted to do?"
Her reaction to the question was to shut down. Her face, usually so animated, became closed and still. "I...would have done something." Her tone was raw, and it begged Livia to let it alone. Livia decided not to press. She'd just lost her mother, and she was about to enter a new, strange world. She didn't want to make things any more difficult for her.
They had reached the house, and instead of going in the front door Livia gave it a wide berth. They circled around back to the bolthole that she'd come out of the night before. She unlocked it, and ushered Diya into the dark inside.
True to her word, Orla had left clothing for her on a shelf by the door. Feeling a bit self-conscious, Livia shucked the Sassenid robes and pulled on the chiton over the short tunic she wore beneath. She brushed herself down and said, "Let's get your things upstairs and go find Orla."
But Orla found them instead. They were setting Diya's things down in the guest room across the hall from Darius' room when the maid stuck her head into the room. "Livia? What are--oh."
"We were about to come looking for you. Orla, this is Diya, Darius' apprentice. Diya, this is Orla, my maid of some years. She helps me run the household." She turned her gaze on Orla. "She is a mage and is to be accorded the same respect as Darius is. If I hear of anyone treating her poorly, I will be very upset."
Orla nodded. "I understand. I will tell the rest of the maids, but you'll want to speak to Rusticus. The guards may be difficult."
"I know. But this is my house, and I rule here. They will do as I say. Would you also find some more clothing for her?" She looked over at Diya. "If you're willing, having you in Roman clothing might make things easier."
The girl was thinking, shifting her weight from foot to foot. Livia didn't envy her predicament. Wearing clothing that didn't mark her as immediately different would indeed make things easier, but the Sassenids considered Roman clothing to be quite immodest, as it showed off the shoulders and the arms, and especially the hair. Finally, Diya nodded. "All right," she said quietly.
"An outfit or two, Orla, we can purchase more later. And I'm going to need the back room cleared out, the one that used to be the playroom. It'll need--what does a mage's workroom need, Diya? A table and chairs?"
She nodded. "Some shelves and a cabinet that locks would also be good. We work with things that can be dangerous in hands that don't know what they're doing."
"It will be done, lady." Orla bowed slightly, and turned and left.
"This room is yours. Darius is right across the hall, and mine is that door over there," she said to Diya. She noticed that the girl was looking around, her eyes darting from corner to corner of the room. To Livia's eyes, the room was furnished simply, decorated with simple paintings on the walls, but she remembered the plain but sturdy house that she had met the girl in, and understood that this would take some time to get used to.
Diya tilted her head. "That is not where you used to sleep. That's on the other side of the house."
Livia spread her hands. "I could not sleep in that room now. I might never be able to sleep in it again." She had forgotten that Diya had been below her window that night, and would have remembered where her screams had come from. "I'll let you settle in. I'll be back in a little bit, and we can introduce you to Rusticus, the head of my guard."
Diya nodded, and Livia let herself out.
*****
That evening, she once again set out for the baths, after having received a reply to her message from Julia saying to meet her there. The same small room had been reserved for them, and this time Livia was the one who was early. She drank watered wine and thought about the day, feeling exhausted and heartsick.
I am so sorry, all of you. Gods. I did what I needed to do, but I don't think Diya will forgive me if she finds out that I kept Lukas from coming into town. If she ever learns what happened...this will not end well between us. And Merouk. She shuddered. Today was the first time that she'd ever taken a life with her own hands. Even though it had been a mercy killing, it had still been her hand that took a human life.
And it might have been preventable, had she been more bold, less afraid of the consequences of being caught. That was the doubt that was going to dog her for the rest of her days. She still heard Lukas' voice in her mind, accusing her of taking the easy way out.
Somehow, I don't think this was the easy way out at all.
She was interrupted in her thoughts by the screen over the door sliding back, and Julia stepping into the small room. The mage seated herself on the couch opposite her. Livia was struck anew by Julia's luminescent beauty, and she wondered again which family she was a scion of. "It is good to see you again, Livia. What do you have for me?"
She filled Julia in on the events of the last few days, especially what she'd found out about Geras and Linnaeus, and the fact that they might be coming after Julia. She told him about Diya but did not tell her about her connection with Esayis, simply telling her that Darius had taken her on as an apprentice.
"And there's something else," she continued. "You asked me if Sextus gave me anything before he died. It turns out that he did, in a manner of speaking. A key."
"To what, did it say?"
She shook her head. "No, I have no idea what it unlocks. I was hoping you might know." She pulled on the chain around her neck, pulling the key hung on it from beneath her tunic. Livia held it up and Julia inspected it briefly.
"It's a key to a strongbox. We use a great deal of them at Hagia Sophia for important papers and valuables. It looks like the one that Faydren uses."
"Faydren?" asked Livia.
"The current leader of the council of Hagia Sophia."
"Ah." Livia frowned. "Ah. Why on earth would Sextus have had a key to one of his strongboxes? Well, I suppose that's less the question than how I could find the lock the key opens."
Julia pursed her lips. "It would be quite an accomplishment actually. They are usually magically attuned to one person. To create a copy that is keyed to someone else is impressive."
"He didn't have any dealings with Faydren that you know of?"
"None that I know of. But more and more, I think he had dealings with many on the council."
Livia sipped her wine. "I'm starting to get that impression, as well. He wasn't just spying for Hagia Sophia. He was doing other things too. I suppose I'll just have to keep my eyes open for an opportunity to get to Faydren's strongboxes."
"May I have it for a moment?" asked Julia, extending her hand.
Livia hesitated for a moment, and then pulled the key from around her neck. She handed the key to Julia, watching her carefully. The golden key lay in Julia's palm, and she stared at it silently for about a minute, while the silence thickened between them. Finally, the outlines of the key wavered and changed, growing larger, becoming a key made out of a heavy, dark metal. "Interesting," the mage muttered, and then relaxed her brow. The key immediately reverted to the small golden strongbox key, and she handed it back to Livia.
"Why did it do that?" she asked.
"That isn't just a key to Faydren's strongbox, that's a chameleon key. I made it change shape by thinking of something else. That was the key to my office in Hagia Sophia. It will open just about anything, anything with a lock, and it was set to default back to Faydren's key." Julia watched as Livia tucked the key back inside her tunic. "A clue, I would bet."
"I'm certain of it. Evidently, Sextus thought this would be of some use to me. Strange, that." She'd have given much in that moment to find out what her husband had been thinking, why he'd have given her a key that would open almost any lock. The key had to be priceless beyond jewels--and where had me managed to lay hands on it?
Julia nodded. "I think I would start with Faydren's house. He has installed some very interesting locks on his doors in his home. He lives next to Constans."
Livia twitched the corner of her mouth in a smile. "Interesting. Well, I was going to have to go try to speak with Constans, sooner or later."
"Good luck."
Livia inclined her head. "Thank you. I believe we're going to need it."
*****
That night, awake and restless, Livia slipped barefoot down the halls of her house. She listened to the silence and the small sounds within that silence, and carried a low-burning lamp before her.
The chambers she had once shared with Sextus were large, and on this night they were cold, the doors having been closed for the week since Sextus had died. A week? It seemed to have been a lifetime, and she found herself turning into someone she did not recognize, and honestly did not like very much. "A politician," she murmured. "But more than that. A spy." A conspirator, as her husband had been.
She closed the door behind her. The room had been thoroughly cleaned and the mattress that had been on the bed destroyed, but Livia could still smell death hanging in the air, a faint and foul odor. She took two, three strides into the room, setting down the lamp, and wondered why she had come here.
This had been one of the places on earth that she had been the most happy. She gingerly probed her feelings and found that the revelations of the past week colored her memories but did not erase the happiness of them; their love and their joy had been genuine, despite the fact that he had been involved in things far beyond her ken.
Another few steps brought her to the empty frame of the bed, and she sank to the floor beside it, sitting with her knees close to her chest, her cheek on her knees. The emptiness tore at her, and she recognized the vast and aching void within her. It would be so easy to let someone fill that gap. Darius had already begun to, as she trusted him more and more, leaning on him.
"I am not replacing you," she said to the soft darkness. "But this is the hardest thing I have ever done, and it's only getting harder. I miss you, Sextus." The tears started now, and she let them fall, not fighting them. "Why didn't you tell me, love? I could have helped. And if you'd told me, I'd know what to do. I wouldn't be stumbling around in the dark. I'd know who I could trust.
"And I'm sorry. Oh, gods, I'm sorry about Merouk, and Diya. It was the only choice, but--" She swallowed, and wiped her eyes and nose. "I will love her as she'll let me, Sextus. I promise. I'll take care of her, and get her out as soon as I can. I can do that much. For you, for her, for Merouk." Her tears seemed to have run dry for the moment, and she cradled her aching head in her hands. "I wish you were here, Sextus. I wish you could hear me."
She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing desperately for comfort, for the feeling of a familiar and beloved presence beside her. There was no comfort, only the darkness, the faint perfume of death, and the cold, lonely road that she had set her feet on, that she would follow until either it or she ended.
Go to Part 2.
False dawn came, the thin grey light leaking through the walls of the tent. Livia woke to the sound of Darius moving around the tent, and she rolled over, rubbing her eyes.
"We should be off soon, lady," he said. He was fastening his sword around his body, looking down at her. "We should be at the walls by the time the sun clears the horizon."
Livia nodded, pulling off the blanket. The robes she wore were rumpled with sleep, and she brushed at them as she stood, then fastened the veil over her head and across her face. Outside the tent, she breathed deeply on the cold morning air. There was a small gathering of the Sassenids from the camp, with bundles and a pair of carts filled, Livia presumed, with goods to sell or barter in the city. Lukas, too, was awake, and came over to them.
"Livia, Darius. You are going back to Constantinople?"
"We will be back at the walls by sunrise. May we walk with those from your camp?" asked Livia.
He gave them a grave nod. "We move often. You know where to find my messenger now; send a message if you need to see me again."
Livia bowed. "I will. Thank you for everything, Lukas." The words were cold and stilted coming out of her mouth, and she clenched her fists. She held out her hand, turned upward, her fingers closed over the coins within. "For your cause."
He took the coins from her, as coldly formal as she. Livia shivered, thinking that this man would probably never forgive her for refusing to risk their necks to get him into the city. She bowed again, this time more shallowly, and turned to go, Darius following her.
As they rejoined the masses walking towards the gates of Constantinople, Livia walked very closely indeed to Darius. "Tell me, Darius," she said, glancing up at him. "After Merouk dies...will you consider letting Diya at least pose as your apprentice? I need a reason for Diya to be in my residence that doesn't involve her being a slave."
His eyebrows shot up. "Certainly. But do you actually want me to teach her something?"
She shrugged. "That, I think, is up to you and her. It seems like she might well appreciate the education, if you're willing to teach her."
"I can teach her the small things to start with, but it's a long process. I just wanted to know how much damage you wanted to create in your home." Darius wore a small smile on his lips. "Wizardlings tend to break things."
Livia spread her hands. "As long as she doesn't actually bring the place down around our ears or set it on fire, it's all right. There's a back room on the first floor that's not really used for much at the moment."
"The farther away the better." He looked down at her, saw that she held her arms crossed, her shoulders slightly rounded. "You don't expect this to go well, do you?"
She shook her head. "Not in the least. But it must be done, and sooner rather than later. I cannot avoid it."
"No, lady, I am afraid not."
"She may surprise me. But if it were me, I would not take what I'm going to tell her well at all." She took a long breath as they passed through the southern gate of Constantinople, coming back into the city she loved so well. "I think I may inquire as to if Merouk ever described her rapist or rapists. if the descriptions match, I think I'll tell her that Geras may have been the culprit. It's a gamble, because she may try to go after him herself. But we'll see."
Darius shrugged. "She is very young. She might try something illogical." His tone was a gentle warning, and she caught his drift immediately.
"I know. She seems to have enough of a cool head on her shoulders, but...I remember being that age. Ah, well. I'll see how it goes with her, and what she's seen."
"You will soon see, as that is their house." He indicated with his chin the familiar door of Merouk's house, and the sense of dread in the pit of Livia's stomach intensified.
"Best to get this over with," she said, her voice miraculously steady.
"After you, lady." Darius gave her a wry smile, and motioned her ahead.
Feeling an odd sense of the repetition of time, she called into the house. Diya pulled back the curtains, her eyes opening wide when she saw who it was. The girl's hair wasn't covered with a veil, and her hair and clothing were both rumpled. Her eyes were reddened, and her mouth was set in the expression of someone years older. "Yes, come in," she said.
Livia entered, Darius close behind her. Livia tried to draw comfort from the big man's silent presence, solid as rock behind her. "How is your mother?" she asked quietly. I pray that we are in time--
Diya's mouth twisted, and she looked over her shoulder, at one of the doorways that led from the room. "Worse. She doesn't know me or her own name today. And she started coughing in the middle of the night."
Livia's heart twisted. They were too late. "Ah, no...she isn't coughing up blood, is she?"
The girl nodded. "Just a little last night, but more this morning."
Livia was certain she was pale as marble. "Come sit down, Diya. I have something I need to talk to you about."
Diya's eyes were wide, but she did as Livia asked. She looked very lost, huddled in on herself. "She's going to die, isn't she?" she asked.
She nodded, and looking at the girl, her eyes stung briefly. She swallowed, willing her voice to be steady. "I'm afraid she is. I spoke to the person who's been supplying her medicine. He sent me with some more of it, but he also said that once she started coughing blood, there was no medicine that would be able to help." Livia paused, schooling her entire being to silence. "He gave me another preparation. To send someone into a sleep from which they'll never awaken."
Diya shuddered as if she'd been hit, her hands gripping her upper arms tightly. "Is he sure? There is nothing he can do?"
Livia shook her head slowly. "Nothing. He said that once she began to cough, there was nothing his medicines could do. I'm sorry, Diya. I had hoped to come with better news."
"There has to be something, anything. Can we get him here to see her?" The girl's voice was soft and pleading. Livia thought her heart could not break more than it already had, but she'd been mistaken.
"He--cannot come into the city." She heard the hitch in her voice and cursed it. "Your mother can't be moved. Even if he could come to her, there's not much he could do at this point other than make her more comfortable." The lie came to her lips easily now, too easily. "You can try the medicines. Perhaps he was mistaken and they'll still help."
Diya leaned forward. "We can try, but if you don't think it will help..."
"He seemed very doubtful." She let her sorrow creep into her voice. May the gods forgive me for what I am about to do. "But it is your decision. You are her caretaker, she is your mother."
"This may seem selfish, but if she dies what do I do?" She looked for a moment younger for her years, a child frightened of being left alone. "She is suffering, but while she lives I have a place to stay. When she dies, they won't let me live here anymore."
"I was going to ask if you had any plans for that."
She shook her head. "I did until Esayis disappeared." She was gripping her upper arms tightly again, as if she had been reminded of everything she had lost, and was about to lose. Father, love, and now her mother were to be taken from her.
Livia closed her eyes for a moment and knew that she had abandoned any thought of using Esayis, when they found him, as leverage with Constans. It was the only decision that would allow her any measure of peace, she thought. Get Esayis, get the two of them out of Constantinople and safely elsewhere. Gods grant her that much, and grant her the fortune to not end up where her mother did. Softly, she suggested, "If you need a place, you could come stay with me. If you liked, you could apprentice to Darius and continue your education until we find Esayis. It might seem a little strange, but I think it's what Sextus would have wanted."
Diya started, and Livia thought that she had not even thought of it as a possibility. She licked her lips, looking intimidated. "That would indeed be strange. What do you I call you? I can't call you mother, that would be stranger still."
"You'd probably call me lady, as Darius does, or by my name. Officially, you and I have no relationship, though I'm sure there are those who will guess whose daughter you are." She watched as Diya did some swift thinking, weighing Livia's offer against what other options she had.
Finally, she shrugged. "I don't see a better choice, lady. But I can't kill my mother."
Livia hurt, her chest held a leaden ache in it. "I know this is hard, Diya. But do you want it done? You could simply wait, and let her die on her own. If you'd rather not...it does not have to be your hand that gives her the draught."
There was a terrible fear and hope in Diya's eyes. "Can you do it?"
"I will. If you want me to." It is my actions that are causing this death. Let it be my hand and no other, and curse the man who actually killed her.
The girl's voice was almost inaudible, and her eyes were closed. "Please. I see no other choice."
Livia glanced over at Darius, trying to avoid giving into the tears that were threatening. He was as silent as stone, but his eyes held some measure of compassion. She turned her eyes away from him, covered her face with her hand, and took a deep breath. When she was sure she had her voice under control, she said, "I will, then. Do you want some time alone with her? And do you want to be there when--I give her the draught?"
"Yes, I need to say goodbye, and no I can't watch." She rose swiftly, as if afraid if she stayed still any longer she would never move.
"All right. Take as much time as you need. Let me know when you're ready."
Diya went into the room that held her mother. She was there only a few moments when she emerged. Without looking at either Livia or Darius, she stumbled through another doorway, and there were rustles and bangs as she began to pack her belongings. Livia bit her lip, and rose. Leaving Darius behind, she went into the room that Diya had gone into. She'd heard the racking coughs, but hadn't truly expected the scene she saw. The scent of death hung on the air, and beside Merouk's bed was a bucket mostly full of rags dark red with drying blood.
Livia took a breath, summoning up all of her courage. She could almost hear her mother's voice in her head, telling her that grace in dire situations was the mark of true nobility of spirit, no matter what bloodline one was from. She knelt beside the bed, and tentatively reached out.
Merouk had finished a coughing fit and was breathing raggedly, her eyes half-open but unseeing. Livia laid her hand on her forehead, seeing the lines that illness and care had written there. Merouk was little older than Sextus, but she looked twice his age. She smoothed back the wispy hair from her forehead, and murmured, "It's all right, Merouk. I have something that will take away the pain and let you sleep."
The woman blinked and turned her eyes towards Livia. The thick white film over her eyes must make her completely blind now, Livia realized. She uncorked the vial that Lukas had given her, and then swiftly tipped the prescribed dose into Merouk's mouth.
Forgive me, Sextus. Forgive me.
Merouk swallowed. A few moments passed, and then her eyes fluttered shut. Her breathing became more even and regular, and then quickly slowed. In a minute or two, she stopped breathing entirely after one long exhale.
Livia bowed her head and let the tears fall. She didn't even try to pull herself out of it, to tell herself that she couldn't fall apart. This seemed like a perfect moment to fall apart, if only for a few minutes. She leaned against the edge of the bed, her face buried in the crook of her arm.
When she could speak again, she said quietly, "May the gods have mercy on you in the afterlife, Merouk. Because for certain they had none here."
"None whatsoever."
Livia managed to not quite jump. Darius had come into the room sometime in the last few minutes, evidently. She got to her feet, and turned to face him, wiping her eyes. "One mistake, and this is where she ends her life. It's really not fair. The gods' mercy seems to have been lacking lately, in many corners. I suppose they have better things to do, these days. And poor Diya." She leaned over the bed, pulling the blanket up over Merouk. "Darius, do you know what arrangements the Sassenids make for their dead?"
He shook his head. "I can find out. Mostly they burn them I believe. I will attend to the funeral. You should take Diya home. I will stay here today and tonight. Once word of her death gets out, looters will come."
She took a deep breath and nodded. "All right. I'm going to go see Julia tonight, I think. Now that I know more, she can fill in a few details for me. Do you have anything you want me to pass along for you?"
"I think that you will cover most of the updates that I would have."
"All I need is Diya and her things, then." She stepped past him, out into the main room of the house. She could still hear Diya banging around in her room.
"If you can, find out if Diya knows where some of Geras's people are."
They sat on the chairs, waiting for Diya. Livia said, "I will. I'll also find out what the current state of that warehouse is and secure it."
"Yes. I am sorry that this is quickly becoming more and more unpleasant. If you need to quit, I understand." He was keeping his voice low, watching her.
"No." The refusal was out of her mouth before she even had time to think about it. "Not until I know what I need to know. I will do what I need to."
He had an unexpectedly grave look on his face. "There is no coming back, if we do as we plan with Geras's mercenaries."
"I know. I'm staring to get the impression that this might get very deadly in a hurry. "
"It very well might. I just hope not for us." His smile was tight and closed.
Livia looked up at him. "And you, Darius. If you want to stop, tell me. You just met me a few days ago. If you want, I can send you back to the Tower. If you stay, I will protect you as I can. I repay loyalty in kind. But this might not be what you want to be doing."
His smile turned a bit more open. "No, I love a good mystery."
"Even if it might kill you?"
Darius shrugged. "If I didn't die in the ring after all those years, I will die when I am meant to and not before."
Her eyes widened. "In the ring?"
"Ten years as a gladiator. Julia didn't tell you?"
It made sense, of course. He had the gladiator's physique. "No. She mentioned that you still sometimes thought as a fighter first, but....I suppose I assumed you were a soldier. How does a gladiator come to become a mage?"
His gaze was a little too penetrating for her comfort. "A gladiator good enough to win his freedom in an event can live whatever life he chooses. I chose to be a mage. Age weakens the limbs. I wanted to defend myself."
Livia wondered if she'd ever seen him in the ring. Everyone went to see the gladiators, of course, but one looked at bodies, not faces. One watched blood fly and not the madness and pain in their eyes. She'd done her share of sighing over her favorites when she was younger, as every young woman and many older ones did. She shifted as she thought of the uncomfortable prospect that he had been one of those she had daydreamed about. She licked suddenly dry lips and asked, "Where are you from, originally? Were you born here?"
"I was. My parents were like Lukas. But we got caught, without the miraculous escape." His voice was steady as a rock, without a trace of waver.
Comprehension broke over her. The easy way he referred to the gods, the feeling she'd had since she met him that there were parts of herself that she could show to him without fear of reprisal. He was a pagan, or at least had been raised as one. "How old were you?" she asked.
"Seventeen." Livia thought quickly. That would make him three years older than her at the least, and probably five or six.
She shook her head. "I must seem very naive to you. Pampered child of the nobility."
He shrugged again. "You did what you had to, to survive and so did I. Whether that meant knowing what fork went with what meal course or what weapon to take out to fight a lion, it's what we did to survive."
Livia closed her eyes. She remembered endless lessons, seemingly unrelated to anything practical, etiquette and ways of hiding her true feelings, the trappings of politics, how to entertain a room full of men and keep them interested in what she was saying. Equipped to survive in a world where the damage words could do was far worse than any blade, she had been given what she needed to survive. But it seemed so flimsy against actually knowing how to do something practical, something real.
Quietly, she responded, "Or learning to hide our true religion under a veneer of what the emperor considered acceptable."
She saw him register the information, mere confirmation of what he already knew, she presumed, and then he nodded. "Yes, that too. So it's just a matter of perspective. We now must expand that to include a few more things."
"Some things I'm not looking forward to, but I'll get through it. Find out who killed Sextus, and go from there."
"Geras, I am sure at this point, until I have other information," Darius said.
"And then to find out why." There was an odd excitement that was gripping Livia. It had been a long day and it was not yet noon, that was all. It just feels good to have an ally I can trust again, she thought. I work better with people than away from them. "This is probably going to take us eventually directly against him, or whoever controls him."
"This will probably take us farther than that, I fear. Hagia Sophia, probably one of the regents."
Livia thought. "We're going to need a lot of help, especially if it's Hagia Sophia."
"Yes, we are. But I don't know who, besides Lukas now."
"Julia, perhaps, depending on what we need. Depending on what the situation is politically, I may have some allies with some political reach. There are others, I'm sure. I just have to find them," Livia said slowly.
He nodded. "I hope so, we will need them."
"First, though, the bodyguard. Then go from there. I wonder if Diya--" She glanced over her shoulder. Diya was standing in the doorway, her head tilted, her hair covered with a veil. Livia wondered just how long she had been standing there. "Well. Are you ready to go?" Diya nodded silently. Her eyes were red, but she seemed calm enough. Whether it was shock or true calm, Livia could not guess. "Diya, Darius will be staying behind to make funeral arrangements. If you'd come with me..."
Diya nodded. Livia shouldered one of her bags, a comfortable weight at her hip. Livia nodded to Darius and walked out, Diya following in her wake.
It was a long walk to the noble section of town. As they got into better sections of town, Livia felt a bit conspicuous in the Sassenid clothing she was wearing. To distract herself, she asked Diya, "So. How much of my conversation with Darius did you hear?"
The girl adjusted the strap of her bag on her shoulder. "Just a bit about needing allies."
Livia thought back to the conversation. Nothing too incriminating by itself, then. "Ah. Well, you do know that I'm trying to find out who killed your father and my husband. What we've found points to something much larger than I ever suspected him being involved in. I'm currently strongly suspecting that Esayis is alive still, though."
Diya's voice was low and angry. "I can only hope they don't have the guts to kill a regent's son."
"It depends on what game they're playing, really."
Diya glanced at her, and Livia was shaken by the sudden, hungry hope in her eyes. "Do you know?"
"I have clues, suspicions, nothing concrete. I think the Tower may be making a bid to control the empire, but I don't think that's the only game being played here. I do know that whoever took Esayis probably kidnapped Constantine's son, as well." She sighed, reminded suddenly of what a dirty business this was becoming. "And the person in the center, who seems to be doing all of the dirty work, is Geras. Speaking of...did you find anything out about him, at all?"
They were getting closer to home, the buildings sprouting details like marble balconies and arched doorways. Diya was looking around her a bit furtively. Livia noted to herself that they were going to have to train her out of that first thing. It would come to her easily enough, she hoped, once she was convinced that she belonged in her new place. Diya said, "I found that two of his mercenaries have been hitting a Sassenid whore house, nearly daily. They spend a great deal of money and stagger out of the building around midnight every night."
It was some of the best news that the girl could have given her. "That is very helpful, actually. It's always convenient when one's enemies have such terrible habits."
"So what are you going to do?"
Livia paused to resettle the bag on her shoulder. "Do you really want to know? I don't want to involve you in this any more than I absolutely have to. "
Diya bit her lip. "They killed my father and thereby inadvertently killed my mother. They have my fiance. I am involved."
"So the answer is yes, then. We plan to...disappear one of the bodyguards, and persuade him to tell us what we want to know."
There was a cruel light in Diya's eyes. "Good. I hope it hurts."
"I believe it will." She could not share in Diya's fierceness at the prospect, but it wasn't the girl who was going to have to do the questioning.
They walked on in silence. Diya, surprisingly, was the one who broke it. "What is Darius's role in all this? I don't get him."
Startled by the question, Livia thought about it for a few moments. "Someone at Hagia Sophia that Sextus knew pulled some strings to have him assigned to me when Constantius requested that they send a bodyguard to me. He has proven an immense help, in many ways, and I believe we have similar goals."
The girl frowned. "And if the Tower is involved, you don't think he is a spy?"
Livia shrugged. "Sextus trusted the person who sent him to me, at least to a degree. She trusts Darius. He might be a spy, but so might just about anyone else. He hasn't killed me in my sleep yet, and I consider that an encouraging sign. I have to trust someone in this mess."
"I grew up pretty much alone. I don't have a lot of faith in humanity."
No, Livia didn't imagine that she did. "I was raised to be a politician. I don't, either. But I...I don't know. It's just a feeling, but I think Darius is trustworthy. If he's not, then the damage has already been done."
"Yes, he probably knows too much."
Livia nodded. If Darius wanted to either kill her or bring her down publicly, he had plenty of evidence and opportunity. She was just going to have to trust that her instincts about him were true. She asked, quietly, "Tell me, what were you planning to do with your mother, had you fled the city when Esayis wanted to do?"
Her reaction to the question was to shut down. Her face, usually so animated, became closed and still. "I...would have done something." Her tone was raw, and it begged Livia to let it alone. Livia decided not to press. She'd just lost her mother, and she was about to enter a new, strange world. She didn't want to make things any more difficult for her.
They had reached the house, and instead of going in the front door Livia gave it a wide berth. They circled around back to the bolthole that she'd come out of the night before. She unlocked it, and ushered Diya into the dark inside.
True to her word, Orla had left clothing for her on a shelf by the door. Feeling a bit self-conscious, Livia shucked the Sassenid robes and pulled on the chiton over the short tunic she wore beneath. She brushed herself down and said, "Let's get your things upstairs and go find Orla."
But Orla found them instead. They were setting Diya's things down in the guest room across the hall from Darius' room when the maid stuck her head into the room. "Livia? What are--oh."
"We were about to come looking for you. Orla, this is Diya, Darius' apprentice. Diya, this is Orla, my maid of some years. She helps me run the household." She turned her gaze on Orla. "She is a mage and is to be accorded the same respect as Darius is. If I hear of anyone treating her poorly, I will be very upset."
Orla nodded. "I understand. I will tell the rest of the maids, but you'll want to speak to Rusticus. The guards may be difficult."
"I know. But this is my house, and I rule here. They will do as I say. Would you also find some more clothing for her?" She looked over at Diya. "If you're willing, having you in Roman clothing might make things easier."
The girl was thinking, shifting her weight from foot to foot. Livia didn't envy her predicament. Wearing clothing that didn't mark her as immediately different would indeed make things easier, but the Sassenids considered Roman clothing to be quite immodest, as it showed off the shoulders and the arms, and especially the hair. Finally, Diya nodded. "All right," she said quietly.
"An outfit or two, Orla, we can purchase more later. And I'm going to need the back room cleared out, the one that used to be the playroom. It'll need--what does a mage's workroom need, Diya? A table and chairs?"
She nodded. "Some shelves and a cabinet that locks would also be good. We work with things that can be dangerous in hands that don't know what they're doing."
"It will be done, lady." Orla bowed slightly, and turned and left.
"This room is yours. Darius is right across the hall, and mine is that door over there," she said to Diya. She noticed that the girl was looking around, her eyes darting from corner to corner of the room. To Livia's eyes, the room was furnished simply, decorated with simple paintings on the walls, but she remembered the plain but sturdy house that she had met the girl in, and understood that this would take some time to get used to.
Diya tilted her head. "That is not where you used to sleep. That's on the other side of the house."
Livia spread her hands. "I could not sleep in that room now. I might never be able to sleep in it again." She had forgotten that Diya had been below her window that night, and would have remembered where her screams had come from. "I'll let you settle in. I'll be back in a little bit, and we can introduce you to Rusticus, the head of my guard."
Diya nodded, and Livia let herself out.
*****
That evening, she once again set out for the baths, after having received a reply to her message from Julia saying to meet her there. The same small room had been reserved for them, and this time Livia was the one who was early. She drank watered wine and thought about the day, feeling exhausted and heartsick.
I am so sorry, all of you. Gods. I did what I needed to do, but I don't think Diya will forgive me if she finds out that I kept Lukas from coming into town. If she ever learns what happened...this will not end well between us. And Merouk. She shuddered. Today was the first time that she'd ever taken a life with her own hands. Even though it had been a mercy killing, it had still been her hand that took a human life.
And it might have been preventable, had she been more bold, less afraid of the consequences of being caught. That was the doubt that was going to dog her for the rest of her days. She still heard Lukas' voice in her mind, accusing her of taking the easy way out.
Somehow, I don't think this was the easy way out at all.
She was interrupted in her thoughts by the screen over the door sliding back, and Julia stepping into the small room. The mage seated herself on the couch opposite her. Livia was struck anew by Julia's luminescent beauty, and she wondered again which family she was a scion of. "It is good to see you again, Livia. What do you have for me?"
She filled Julia in on the events of the last few days, especially what she'd found out about Geras and Linnaeus, and the fact that they might be coming after Julia. She told him about Diya but did not tell her about her connection with Esayis, simply telling her that Darius had taken her on as an apprentice.
"And there's something else," she continued. "You asked me if Sextus gave me anything before he died. It turns out that he did, in a manner of speaking. A key."
"To what, did it say?"
She shook her head. "No, I have no idea what it unlocks. I was hoping you might know." She pulled on the chain around her neck, pulling the key hung on it from beneath her tunic. Livia held it up and Julia inspected it briefly.
"It's a key to a strongbox. We use a great deal of them at Hagia Sophia for important papers and valuables. It looks like the one that Faydren uses."
"Faydren?" asked Livia.
"The current leader of the council of Hagia Sophia."
"Ah." Livia frowned. "Ah. Why on earth would Sextus have had a key to one of his strongboxes? Well, I suppose that's less the question than how I could find the lock the key opens."
Julia pursed her lips. "It would be quite an accomplishment actually. They are usually magically attuned to one person. To create a copy that is keyed to someone else is impressive."
"He didn't have any dealings with Faydren that you know of?"
"None that I know of. But more and more, I think he had dealings with many on the council."
Livia sipped her wine. "I'm starting to get that impression, as well. He wasn't just spying for Hagia Sophia. He was doing other things too. I suppose I'll just have to keep my eyes open for an opportunity to get to Faydren's strongboxes."
"May I have it for a moment?" asked Julia, extending her hand.
Livia hesitated for a moment, and then pulled the key from around her neck. She handed the key to Julia, watching her carefully. The golden key lay in Julia's palm, and she stared at it silently for about a minute, while the silence thickened between them. Finally, the outlines of the key wavered and changed, growing larger, becoming a key made out of a heavy, dark metal. "Interesting," the mage muttered, and then relaxed her brow. The key immediately reverted to the small golden strongbox key, and she handed it back to Livia.
"Why did it do that?" she asked.
"That isn't just a key to Faydren's strongbox, that's a chameleon key. I made it change shape by thinking of something else. That was the key to my office in Hagia Sophia. It will open just about anything, anything with a lock, and it was set to default back to Faydren's key." Julia watched as Livia tucked the key back inside her tunic. "A clue, I would bet."
"I'm certain of it. Evidently, Sextus thought this would be of some use to me. Strange, that." She'd have given much in that moment to find out what her husband had been thinking, why he'd have given her a key that would open almost any lock. The key had to be priceless beyond jewels--and where had me managed to lay hands on it?
Julia nodded. "I think I would start with Faydren's house. He has installed some very interesting locks on his doors in his home. He lives next to Constans."
Livia twitched the corner of her mouth in a smile. "Interesting. Well, I was going to have to go try to speak with Constans, sooner or later."
"Good luck."
Livia inclined her head. "Thank you. I believe we're going to need it."
*****
That night, awake and restless, Livia slipped barefoot down the halls of her house. She listened to the silence and the small sounds within that silence, and carried a low-burning lamp before her.
The chambers she had once shared with Sextus were large, and on this night they were cold, the doors having been closed for the week since Sextus had died. A week? It seemed to have been a lifetime, and she found herself turning into someone she did not recognize, and honestly did not like very much. "A politician," she murmured. "But more than that. A spy." A conspirator, as her husband had been.
She closed the door behind her. The room had been thoroughly cleaned and the mattress that had been on the bed destroyed, but Livia could still smell death hanging in the air, a faint and foul odor. She took two, three strides into the room, setting down the lamp, and wondered why she had come here.
This had been one of the places on earth that she had been the most happy. She gingerly probed her feelings and found that the revelations of the past week colored her memories but did not erase the happiness of them; their love and their joy had been genuine, despite the fact that he had been involved in things far beyond her ken.
Another few steps brought her to the empty frame of the bed, and she sank to the floor beside it, sitting with her knees close to her chest, her cheek on her knees. The emptiness tore at her, and she recognized the vast and aching void within her. It would be so easy to let someone fill that gap. Darius had already begun to, as she trusted him more and more, leaning on him.
"I am not replacing you," she said to the soft darkness. "But this is the hardest thing I have ever done, and it's only getting harder. I miss you, Sextus." The tears started now, and she let them fall, not fighting them. "Why didn't you tell me, love? I could have helped. And if you'd told me, I'd know what to do. I wouldn't be stumbling around in the dark. I'd know who I could trust.
"And I'm sorry. Oh, gods, I'm sorry about Merouk, and Diya. It was the only choice, but--" She swallowed, and wiped her eyes and nose. "I will love her as she'll let me, Sextus. I promise. I'll take care of her, and get her out as soon as I can. I can do that much. For you, for her, for Merouk." Her tears seemed to have run dry for the moment, and she cradled her aching head in her hands. "I wish you were here, Sextus. I wish you could hear me."
She wrapped her arms around herself, wishing desperately for comfort, for the feeling of a familiar and beloved presence beside her. There was no comfort, only the darkness, the faint perfume of death, and the cold, lonely road that she had set her feet on, that she would follow until either it or she ended.
Go to Part 2.
