Tiamat's Kittens: Such Machines As the Gods Have Made

[aithne]

Jordan was sitting next to me, and I was leaning on him, my eyes closed. Even with Haven's remedy, a headache always left me feeling weird and head-buzzy.

"You know," Jordan said, "if you talked to Haven he might be able to help you get rid of them for good."

I stiffened and opened my eyes. "No."

"And why not? I promise Haven doesn't bite. Much, anyway."

I shook my head and then regretted the movement. "I'm not talking about the add-- this thing-- to anyone who doesn't already know about it. That is final."

Jordan shrugged and slung an arm around my shoulders. "Suit yourself, but wouldn't you want to have a cure rather than a lifetime of making me get poked and prodded for a condition I don't have?"

I glared at him. "Oh, that's low." He just smiled at me. I grumbled and muttered, but in the end I said, "Fine. I'll talk to him. Later."

"You know, it looks like he's alone over there. You could catch him now."

I sighed and threw up my hands. "All right, I'll go."

Haven was sitting by himself, going through a case of what seemed to be potions. I walked up to him and said, "Haven? Can I talk to you for a second?"

He got to his feet. "Sure, what's up, Major?"

"Hey, um...." I shifted, uncomfortably, crossing one arm protectively in front of my body. "I think you've already figured out that Jordan's not the one who gets headaches. I am. I'm sorry for the deception."

He nodded. He pulled out a length of leather put of his pocket and started to tie his honey-brown hair back. I'd seen him do that so many times, when he was getting ready to work on someone, that I immediately relaxed. It was going to be all right. Haven wouldn't judge me, if he was in healer mode. "I figured. The sword should be taking care of that, from what I understand about that sword. So I assumed it was for someone close to him. You, I assumed."

"Yeah. Me. The headaches are a recent thing. Since the regeneration."

Haven gave me a dark look, and I tensed until he spoke and I realized that look hadn't been for me. "Eyeball. Idiots probably gave you the regeneration potion and then gave you that painkiller they like to give out didn't they?"

I frowned, puzzled. "Yeah, they did. Said I'd have the headaches pretty frequently for a while, but I'd probably have them less frequently for the rest of my life."

"Well, that's what they say. They should have just given you the regen potion and a batch of this." He turned back to his potion case and pulled out a glass jar of something, the glass murky enough to not betray its contents. "But no, do they listen to me? So then they send out half of the military doped up on drugs that give them headaches and migraines, that incapacitate them. Brilliant, in my opinion."

"You're telling me that all of this wasn't necessary?"

"Nope--well, the regen yes, unless you wanted to be called Major Patch all your life."

"I figured I didn't have time to learn how to fight one-eyed." I gave Haven a wry smile. "Not sure I'd repeat that decision, though. That was a pretty bad month."

"That always is. The eye is the worst. Arms, legs, not so bad, just itchy. The eye messes with that nerve into the brain." He shook his head. "Anyway, enough about my tirade." He stepped up to me and took my chin in his hands, looking at my regenerated eye. "Open your eyes a little more? Thanks. So where is the pain, in the front, the back, the neck, your shoulders?"

"It starts right behind the new eye," I told him. "I usually have some warning, my head buzzes and I see flashes of light. It sort of feels like someone's hitting me right behind the eye with a nice sharp pick, from front to back, and then it gets more general. I wake up after one with a sore neck and shoulders, but I think that's mostly from holding myself still so it doesn't hurt even more."

"Got one now, or feeling that way?"

I made an affirmative noise, since he still had my chin and I couldn't nod. "I was getting one before, but I had some of your remedy and it went away. At least, I can feel a little of the buzzing still, but that's it. Once one gets going real good, I'm generally down for the count. I don't even make much sense when I try to talk during one, Palil's said."

Haven let go of my chin. "All right. Lie down on those blankets and let your neck relax." Once I did, he knelt right above my head, taking my forehead in one hand and my chin in the other. Abruptly, he twisted my head, sending popping and cracking noises all the way down my neck to between my shoulder blades. Then he turned my head the other way and did it again, to the accompaniment of fewer crackles. He let me go and I sat up. "Hold still," he told me as he pulled something out of his potion case. He moved around in front of me and knelt down again. "Look up," he said as he took hold of the lower eyelashes of my regenerated eye and pulled gently.

Wondering that the hell he was up to, I did. He put something between my eyelid and my eyeball with what felt like the pinky of his other hand, and let go. I blinked, the vision in that eye going smeary, and yelped as whatever it was started to sting. "Don't rub your eye for a couple of minutes," Haven warned. "It should stop stinging pretty quickly."

The eye was watering freely, but, weirdly enough--even the residual pain from my headache was gone. No tingling scalp, even. I rolled my shoulders--even those felt better than they had. "That's so weird. It doesn't hurt any more!"

"Yeah well, if you do the regen right it wouldn't hurt a bit. But those idiots have this potion maker that is dubious at best, but he can crank them out like there's no tomorrow. Course he takes shortcuts that cause the headaches and the slight eye discoloration." He put the cork back in the jar he'd used and handed it to me. "Once per day, more if a migraine comes on. A pinkie full at a time. Should last about two weeks, and then it should be gone, forever."

The stinging had stopped, and I dabbed my eye on my sleeve. I looked down at the bottle in my hands. "Well. Thank you, Haven."

"No trouble, If you ever have a major injury like that again, don't take anything, unless you are going to die, until you consult me."

I'd always thought of the military healers as good at their jobs. It was weird to have someone in the same profession giving such a low estimation of their performance. "I'll remember that, and tell Palil. Out of curiosity, what was the weird neck popping thing all about?"

Haven shrugged. "I set your spine back in line, so you stand up straighter. Oh, and less vodka. Some is all right, but no binging. You will regret it."

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered if Jordan had talked to Haven about my drinking. I didn't think I drank that much. "It'll trigger a headache?" I asked.

"That salve doesn't react well with too much alcohol in the system. Your whole world will be spinning for days. You probably will be retching for most of them."

Good that he'd warned me. "Ah, well, I can cut down, not a problem."

"If for some strange reason the salve doesn't work--come back, I have a more radical approach that you won't like, but it will work," he said.

I gave him a half-grin. "Let me guess, you start over and do the job right this time?"

"Yep." I took a sharp breath--I'd been kidding. "Course, I would knock you out first."

I opened my mouth and closed it, and finally said, "I think that's a last resort, myself."

Haven chuckled. "This should work. The regen wasn't too bad, the more the color is off the worse the headaches. Yours kind of match. Saw a dwarf once with one brown eye and one blue."

"You mean they get worse? Poor guy."

"Yep. Drank himself to death to stop the pain."

I shuddered a bit. "I can understand the impulse. I was starting to head in that direction for a while, myself."

"Happens. By the way, Major, if you need other types of medical help or just checkups, come to me before you go to the military healers," Haven said. "Same for the rest of your group. Palil is showing signs of ovulation, if I don't miss my guess."

I blinked, then dabbed my eye on my sleeve again. The vision in that eye was getting a lot clearer as the salve seemed to sink in. "Serious? She's way young for it."

"You have progressed quickly, and she has gotten huge," he said, nodding.

I chuckled. "I was just noticing that. I always think of her as a lot smaller than she is, but she's gotten really big."

"Yes she has. She will probably start early. Elfrida did."

I raised an eyebrow. "She's already been through a season cycle?"

"Yep, sure has."

I shook my head. "I'll have to tell Palil. I'm pretty sure children aren't in her plans for the moment, but maybe by the time she's in season, things will have changed."

Haven went and sat down next to his pack and potion case, waving me over to join him. He was taking up the task that he'd been doing before, apparently checking the contents of his case. As I sat down, he said, "I don't know much about her love life, but if she is sleeping with a white dragon, she should be really careful. Other colors not so much, but she still should be just in case. If she is sleeping with a humanoid, then she can just enjoy the increased sex drive."

"She's not sleeping with much of anyone at the moment, so I guess the point's a bit moot. She was sleeping with a humanoid, but that's over with now." I snorted. "I'd like her to start up with someone again, she was a lot more relaxed when she was getting laid."

Haven made a wry face. "She may be moody then, very moody."

I rolled my eyes. "Like she's not already."

Haven raised a bottle, shook it a bit, and frowned. "Encourage her, it will make both your lives easier," he said, putting the bottle aside and pulling out another.

"She and Gannon have been making eyes at each other, but neither of them's willing to make the first move. I'll see if I can't encourage her some."

"Pink dragons, that would be strange," he said, and chuckled.

"Wouldn't it, though? They're weirdly alike, personality-wise. You'd think they wouldn't be."

"Wes, I noticed. Might be a good match." He glanced down into his case and pulled out a bottle, then looked back at me. "But so are you and Jordan."

I grinned. "Yeah, well. It seems to be going pretty well, at least."

"Unless you lose interest, I don't see him doing so," Haven said.

I stretched my legs out on the ground, shifting to a more comfortable position. "I'm not sure I could, at this point. I don't think the shiny's quite worn off of the relationship yet, though. Five or ten years from now, who knows?"

He pulled out another bottle, glanced at it, then put it back in the case. "Maybe. We could all be gone tomorrow, the way this is going."

Ah, wasn't it the truth. "Though of all of us, I think Jordan will live through it."

"Too stubborn to die," Haven said with a quick smile. I laughed, knowing it was true. Jordan for certain had stubborn to spare. Fortunately, so did I.

I spread my hands. "And I've got no idea what the world will look like when we're done with it. Ideas of how I'd like it to look, but not sure how it'll turn out."

"Depends on if you think that is your job or not. If not, I would let Admiral Coulter and Chaim handle it."

"It might be." I shook my head, thinking about it. It seemed like we'd messed the world up, the least we could do was try to fix it. "Of course, whether or not it's our job, our job right now is to do what we have to to make sure Reuben goes down, at least."

"True," Haven said with a nod. "That, I think, is Jordan's destiny."

"Might be. I just hope he survives it."

"He has the best chance, alone."

I gritted my teeth. I knew it was true, had been thinking something along those lines myself, but that didn't make it any easier to handle. "I know. If we can find him and drop him in...I've had that thought. I hate it."

"Gannon hates it too. And Jordan may lead him to his death if he isn't careful." Haven paused in his potion-checking. "You saw that white dragon attack."

Dragons mobbing Gannon because they assumed he was the real danger. "Yeah, I did. Gannon's the bigger target, and he's who people assume is the stronger one."

"Yes they do, and it's a detriment to Gannon. Addison told me about Duff. That seems to be what happened there."

I frowned. "Palil mentioned something about Jordan being so worried about me that he just killed everyone rather than sticking with it and trying to get something worked out. I was going to talk it over with her later and see if it warranted having a talk with him about it."

Haven shook his head. "From what Addison said, I don't think so, Major. But it might be a problem. The Commander was reluctant to take the word of a Captain and when Jordan insisted that he was wrong and suggested he call Coulter himself. Duff started to draw a weapon. Jordan killed him and his bond in a heartbeat and when the rest pulled, he killed them too. Addison said he didn't even have to pull his axe."

I was even less happy with this explanation for what Jordan had done than the one Palil had given me. Worry over me could be dealt with. But being too quick to use fatal force was something else entirely. "Actually, that is a problem. Though I have to say that the reaction is very Jordan. And I can see why Duff reacted the way he did. You get some Captain walking in and more or less challenging your authority, you get a little touchy. We'd have handled it a bit differently, but we did send Jordan."

"You send us when you want something dead, and that, I think, is what Coulter wanted. Doesn't he normally tell you the assignment and let you pick the team?"

I nodded. "Yeah, he does. He generally gives us a list of things to be taken care of and lets us decide who to send on what. It was weird that he told us to send you guys."

"Very, I thought as well."

I scratched at the back of my neck, thinking. "I'm guessing that he wanted Duff and his bondmate well and truly spanked. Step out of line, and Coulter sends Jordan to get you back in line. Not a precedent I'd like to set, especially since there are a lot of commanders out there who probably need a spanking."

Haven frowned slightly. "He knew the outcome before he sent them. I think that was a message to someone."

"Question would be who. I can think of a long list of candidates."

"Maybe it was to Duff, who knows? But ordering Jordan made no sense to me, Major. My two gold for you."

"We'll see if Coulter does it again. I may argue, next time. Coulter does outrank me, but this is MI. I at least want an explanation of what he's using those in my command for."

Haven was back to sorting his potions again. He opened one, sniffed, then re-corked it and set it back in the case. "I would. Besides what can he really do, order Jordan to smack you? I don't think he would."

I laughed. "Jordan would choose to get court-martialed for insubordination rather than hit me. Good odds Coulter knows that."

"And if we are just one of fourteen units in MI, you have command of four. That become significant if we all leave."

I hadn't thought about that before. We had a good chunk of what MI forces remained; if we got unhappy enough to disappear to wherever, that would be another serious blow to the forces that remained. "Not only do I have command of four, I think Kane would probably consider a request of ours before he would one of his, and Chaim would listen to us if we had a good argument for him. We've got influence with a lot of his current resources. We could do a lot of damage, if we decided to. He's got reason to at least explain what he's doing when he sends one of our teams off arbitrarily."

He wrinkled his nose slightly, an odd expression on Haven's normally serious face. "Maybe we should start calling you Admiral."

"Good god, no. I've got leverage against Coulter. But I don't want to deliberately piss off whatever's left of MI68."

"They are legend themselves. Well, good luck. I think I like being just the healer," he said.

I took a long breath. "Yeah, I kind of envy you. A while back, I was just a ranger."

"And maybe you will be again someday." Haven shook a jar, opened it to peer inside.

"Would be nice. I think I might miss all the excitement, though."

"I won't miss putting all of you back together again." That was a bit of a rueful admission. "I can't say its not useful looking at all the wounds you guys get, but its not what I am really interested in."

I'd never thought much about what Haven might do with himself after the military. "What do you want to do, once this is all over and we're free?"

He shrugged and dug in his bag. "Honestly, I haven't had a whole lot of time to think about it. But probably an herbalist, or a person that cures the ills that current healers say are incurable."

"Right up your alley. Well, with any luck, we'll all get to see what comes next."

Haven nodded and said, "I hope so. I still expect to be your doctor when you need me. I do have great knowledge about pregnancies and birthing half-elven children."

I smiled, thinking about it. "I'm pretty sure I'll need that expertise in a few years. Not quite yet, since elven-human couples usually need some magical assistance to conceive."

"Sometimes, sometimes not," he said, shrugging.

I blinked, startled. "Really? I've always heard they do. And I've slept with enough humans to believe it."

Haven gave me a half-smile. "Don't be too lax. If you have a human in your woodpile back there, you are likely capable of breeding with a human. And based on that mutant eye color regeneration, I would say you have."

Oh. Why hadn't my mother ever mentioned this? It would have been good to know. "I've always suspected there's a bit of human a few generations back on my dad's side. I'm...going to have to pick some potions up next time we resupply. Or have you make some for me."

"I have some for just such an occasion. I think your age has saved you, thus far."

I nodded. "Probably. But if Palil's to the point of fertility, I probably am as well."

"Probably, if it's not too late already."

My tongue froze in my mouth, and I stared at Haven. "Hell. I hadn't even thought of that."

He dug into his bag and pulled out a wide-mouthed jar with some herbs in it. He handed it to me and said, "Go pee in the cup. If it stays clear, you're fine. If it changes color, you are going to be a mother."

I had to laugh. No wonder Jordan had muttered about fluid collection, if Haven was so free with collecting samples. I got up and went outside to find some privacy, dropping the jar in the pocket of my coat. Nervousness was gnawing at my gut. God, this would be a terrible time to come up pregnant. Not as bad as it could be, but still bad. I can't afford to be slowed down right now.

I followed directions, then leaned against a tree and waited. I put the jar down by my side, looked up at the sky, and counted to a hundred. Then a hundred again. Then, nervously, I looked down at the jar.

No color change.

My first reaction was, weirdly, disappointment. I blinked at that, and the realized that a part of me had been sort of hoping that I was pregnant. Despite the timing, despite everything going on. Guess I really do want children after all. Maybe sooner rather than later.

After that was relief. It was an arrow dodged, and it meant that I wouldn't be on the run, maybe doing a lot of fighting, while I was pregnant. I cleaned out the jar, thinking about it. I wish our lives were a little more normal, sometimes, I thought ruefully.

Back to Haven I went, and when he looked at me inquiringly I shook my head. He nodded, reached into his bag, and handed me sour opaque vials. I uncapped one and saw that they had tablets inside, light blue and about the size of a gold coin. "One a day, to ward off children," he said. "One month to clear the system if you want to get pregnant. If you don't get pregnant within a year, come see me. And though they are sweet to the taste, don't eat them like candy. That will really screw things up."

I laughed. "I promise, if I get the munchies I won't eat them."

He nodded. "Palil too, if she is going into heat."

"I'll tell her. She's going to be amused. I hope." Though I hadn't been able to get much of a read on her mood, lately. There were times when I had no idea of how she was going to react to something, which scared me a little.

Haven chuckled. "So do I. If not, come see me for the bruises."

"Heh. I'm pretty sure she's not going to pull that so soon after last time. She's probably just going to blush and mutter about the fact that she's not having sex so why worry." I stuck the vials in my pocket, reminding myself to take one later.

"Well when she does, make her take them," he said.

I grimaced a bit. "Oh, I will. I hope she does, otherwise she's going to get difficult to live with."

He nodded. "Very, very difficult. Whites are the worst. Pent up emotions, she may lose all logic for some periods, overcome by lust. Best if she can work it out the easy way."

Uh-oh. "She's had a couple of episodes like that even when she wasn't in heat. And I hate to say it, but we really need her mind in working order."

"Ah, then make sure she also has a dragon companion. I hate to see what happens to a dragon and humanoid couple that went wrong. Scratch that, I saw that once. Don't want to see that again."

I made a face. I still wasn't telling Haven who she'd been sleeping with, keeping Olin's secret from him. "That's why the thing with the humanoid lover she had ended. She just about hurt him, and decided she couldn't trust herself with him."

"She is having that issue already, ovulation may make it worse."

I smiled lopsidedly. "Yeah. I'll see if I can't give her a few nudges in Gannon's direction. I think they'd probably be good for each other, and they can't keep carefully circling one another forever. Funny as it may be to watch," I added, chuckling. It was funny, watching them do their version of flirting. I wondered if Gannon had any idea how much Palil liked him. Though I'm not going to be the one to clue him in. Palil's a big girl, she needs to tell him herself.

"Good luck with that," Haven said.

"Thanks. I'll see you later, I'm going to go see if I can't find her," I told him. I turned and walked off, scanning the cavern for her. She wasn't there, and as I reached out I found out that she was outside, talking intensely to someone. From the intensity of her concentration on the conversation, it was very likely Gannon.

Distracted, I wandered back towards my packs. I didn't see Jordan until he fell in beside me. "Well?"

I grinned at him. "Haven gave me some stuff that he said should make the headaches go away permanently."

"See, what did I tell you?" he said, teasing.

"Yeah, well, you were right," I said. "Haven also told me a few other things. Like the fact that Palil's probably going to go into season in a few weeks, here."

Jordan raised an eyebrow. We were wandering towards the back of the cave, where there were several niches in the walls of the cave, good for a semi-private conversation. "She's gotten really big lately, I'm not really surprised."

"She's going to be," I said. "And amused, I hope. Haven mentioned that unless she has an outlet for the feelings that are going to be hitting her, she's going to be even moodier than normal. I'm going to have to talk to her about that."

We'd reached the niche we were heading for, and Jordan leaned back against the cave wall. I did the same. "Moodier than normal? That's going to be a feat."

"Trust me, it's possible." I gave Jordan a half-grin. "I'm going to encourage her to find someone to share her bed, at least for her season. I don't think she'll be interested in children at the moment, there's too much going on, so she doesn't have to go look for another white dragon. I think her first choice may be Gannon, honestly. Not sure how he's going to feel about it, given how she's been acting towards him lately. Otherwise, I caught Lamont checking her out earlier, he would probably be willing."

Jordan nodded. "We'll see, I guess. She won't take up with Olin again?"

I shook my head. "She won't, and she shouldn't. She's lost control before, and she's likely to do so again." I sighed and put my head back against the cool stone. "I don't know how this is going to go. I'm just not looking forward to if she decides not to take up with anyone. We really do need her mind in working order. She's sensible about these things, usually."

"With any luck," he said. "Just glad she'll have some warning about it. She doesn't like surprises much, and it doesn't sound like she has any idea what's going on."

I chuckled. "No, she certainly doesn't like surprises. Speaking of, um, turns out that I very likely really do have a human in the woodpile somewhere a few generations back. Haven doesn't seem to think we'll have much of a problem having children together. Enough so that he checked me to see if I was pregnant."

Jordan gave me a look. "And?"

"Not pregnant," I said. "Which is kind of a relief, I'm not sure I'd want to be trying to save the world with a belly on me. But on the other hand..." I shrugged. "I was kind of disappointed. I...wasn't expecting to be, honestly. I do want children. More than I thought I did."

He reached out a hand, and when I took it he pulled me over to him. I leaned into him, setting my forehead against his. Quietly, I said, "I think, when we're all in not so much danger of being killed all the time...we should let nature take its course."

Silently, he tightened his arms around me, and we stayed there unspeaking for a little while. "Suppose that means you're planning on sticking around, then," he said, finally.

I leaned back a bit, looked into his eyes. "As long as you're willing to have me around. The rest of your life. Maybe the rest of mine." I kissed him then, quite thoroughly. "I love you, Jordan," I said when I could speak again. "Try not to die on me, all right?"

"I'll do my very best," he said, seriously. "You stay alive, too."

"You know me," I said, grinning. "I land on my feet."

"I know." He brushed my hair back. "I like the new haircut, by the way."

"Yeah, I had Blaise cut it for me, since the ends were all burned. Always get a thief to cut your hair. They've got the lightest touch with a knife."

Jordan laughed. "I'll remember that. Should we go plan what we're up to next?"

"Oh, probably." I kissed him again, stepped back, and stretched. My newly healed skin protested, but it was bearable, especially since my head didn't hurt at all. When I touched Palil's mind, I could feel that her first reaction was startled annoyance, which melted as soon as she realized it was me. She had been very intensely into whatever she'd been talking to Gannon about. I gave her a mild ribbing, then went to get out the map.

Time to figure out how to start a war--the war we wanted.